It is an immense truth that when it comes to sex, everything is never said. Although today it is increasingly common to talk about it and its health benefits, and just as there is more and more information available about it as part of everyday life, it still has unexplored areas. Whether due to embarrassment, lack of education or communication, inexperience, or any other reason, basic mistakes continue to be made that hinder your full enjoyment.
The taboos, erroneous beliefs and sexual myths that we must stop believing add to the list of obstacles towards achieving good sexual health, which is why it is necessary to review ourselves honestly and also propose to talk to our partner to – with sensitivity, empathy and respect – overcome these aspects and achieve a full and transparent sexuality.
Unrealistic expectations, which we generate perhaps with audiovisual material, or with anecdotes that we hear from other people; As well as ignorance about the importance of self-care and hygiene for sex , are two of the mistakes that many people make, but let’s encourage more conscious relationships by going a little further and shed light on so much mystery.
It is common to believe that in sex…
…We are absolutely responsible for the enjoyment of our partner
No, we are not. Just as our partner is not responsible for us having a good time. Psychologist Silvia Sanz , sex therapist, says that it is very important to take responsibility for our own sexual enjoyment and highlights that our partner is not obliged to make us enjoy ourselves. This means that we must focus on our experience, if not, it doesn’t matter if our partner is a star in bed, we won’t find out.
If we have sex and we are thinking about work pending, the phone call we were waiting for, or the purchases we didn’t make, we are not going to concentrate on the action and there will be no enjoyment. “If you want to enhance your sexual relationships, it is important to concentrate both from a physical point of view and from an emotional point of view,” she says.
…We must reserve our needs and tastes
No. The success of a sexual relationship (and the truth is that of any type) is based on good communication. Although it may seem like a lie, it is easier to practice it than to speak it. Beliefs rooted in our upbringing, taboos, thinking that sex is forbidden or dirty, and other factors make it difficult for us toexpress ourselves freely and without shame about what we like or don’t like, even less so if we are women.
Nermary Yibirín, sexology counselor, coach and activist says that this usually happens due to two very relevant factors. The first, low self-esteem, and one of its consequences is not being able to express ourselves assertively about what we want or feel; and the second, parenting.
For women, sexist parameters indicate that the enjoyment of sex is a sin, and chastity is a value. While for men the obligation is to always be ready, always eager, if not, then it can be seen as strange.
…There is no room for laughter due to a gas leak
Sex is the most intimate moment possible for a couple, it is where all shame should be uncovered, where we must be most authentic, then in that authenticity and spontaneity things can happen that we do not see in the perfect scenes of the movies.
The truth is that digestion does not stop when we have sex, and intestinal movements are human, normal, common, and they also occur during sex, so there is no need to be ashamed if one of these unromantic escapes occurs. Dealing with the situation is much easier if it is taken with humor, as something normal that It can happen to anyone and steps can be taken to prevent it., such as avoiding foods that are difficult to digest , such as vegetables or grains.
Another matter is vaginal flatulence, which is also normal and is formed by air pockets that are generated with movement and penetration, since the vaginal area has folds that can fill with air and be released when the muscles relax. They sound like flatulence, but they are not.
…They both care equally
Many times the importance that our partner gives to sex and the frequency with which he wants to practice it is underestimated. Maybe there is a difference in libido, or maybe we are not seeing how necessary bodily connection is for our partner. If we let these types of situations pass without talking about them and communicating assertively, we can eventually find ourselves trapped in a relationship or sexless marriage, which is more common than you imagine, but it has a solution.
There are many more, but these are undoubtedly a starting point to reflect on how common and deep-rooted are those beliefs and actions that could prevent sex from being a satisfying experience in our lives.
This article is intended to provide general and educational information on topics related to health and well-being. However, this information should not be considered a substitute for your doctor’s advice nor should it be used to carry out treatments without medical supervision. Yahoo is not responsible for any diagnosis made by a user based on this content. If you are concerned about your health, always consult your primary doctor or other qualified health professional before taking any action.
